Mum Is Thinking

The story of Alex B, a 5 year old kindergarten student voted out of his class at the urging of his teacher http://www.tcpalm.com/news/2008/may/24/30gtteacher-lets-stud ents-vote-out-classmate-5/ , is heartbreaking and infuriating in equal measures. I honestly can’t imagine how the state attorney’s office could find these actions didn’t qualify as emotional abuse, I’m as flabbergasted at that as any other part of this story.

Here are a couple of points I’ve been pondering about this:

1. Based on the teachers ham-fisted actions, I wonder how much of Alex’s problems in class (’misbehaviour’ problems) aren’t a direct result of the teacher in the first place. I’m not saying autistic kids never misbehave, I have one of my own, after all, and I’ve seen my share of what would be termed ‘misbehaviour’. But I have to say this. The vast majority of ‘misbehaviour’ I see with my own kid, especially during his early years, has more to do with lack of understanding, lack of attention (or difficulty shifting attention), anxiety issues or lack of social grace in giving a response to a situation than a blatant desire to ‘get his own way’ or cause problems. Once these issues have been worked through it’s easy to see that he had no intention to misbehave, and in fact was completely unaware that his actions would be taken that way.

The point here is that our children’s success or failure in social settings often relies heavily on the sensitivity of the adults in charge, and whether or not the adult is willing to put in the extra effort to understand the issues behind challenging behaviour.

Yes, it can take an extra measure of patience, kindness and willingness to think outside the box and understand the needs of a very young autistic child…but aren’t those the qualities we want to see in ANY kindergarten teacher, no matter what the neurology of the student?

Patience, kindness, willingness to meet the needs of the child…to me that’s the very definition of a kindergarten teacher I was lucky…my kindie teacher was a real sweetheart, and it was a good thing, because I was quite the challenging student at age 5. Bless her heart. She was too darn sweet. I would put some love heart emoticons here if I could lol.

I just wish Alex (and my own son) had been so lucky.

I wonder if Miss P has ever stopped to consider that the main reason Alex was voted out of class might well have more to do with HER than with HIM in more ways than the obvious ones.

2. The teachers actions in this case were so blatantly in-your-face wrong, stupid and inexcusable.

Miss P ain’t no shrinking violet when she discriminates against those of a different neurology, she goes whole hog. Don’t like the little 5 year old autistic kid? No prob, Bob, stand him up in front of the class, encourage all the little kiddies to work him over verbally, then boot his little ass out of the room. Yeehaw.

Miss P at least did us the favour of letting everyone know right up front where she stands. Not the smoothest move on her part, and turn around being fair play and all, I really hope she has enjoyed hearing “what it is about Miss P we don’t like”. I move to vote her prejudiced butt out of class.

Yeehaw.

Honestly, I can’t think of a stupider move on her part.

But here’s what really worries me.

Discrimination of kids and adults of a different neurology happens everyday, in ways that are just as hurtful, with effects that are just as long lasting as those poor little Alex endured. The difference, of course, is that most discrimination is infinitly more subtle than Miss P was able to manage.

There are many ways to exclude, humiliate, alienate and hurt those who are different. Most of us who are of a ‘different neurology’ have considerable experience with the many ways people can let you know you’re not liked or appreciated. That you’re different, and different is not acceptable. That they vote you out.

It’s the people who achieve the same effect as that achieved by Miss P but don’t have to suffer the consequences that really concern me. The people who think someone being different is a great excuse to drop them to the bottom of the pecking order yet hide behind the screen of civility. It’s the discrimination that’s wormed it’s way into our society until it’s so firmly entrenched most people don’t even know it for what it is anymore that I’m most genuinely worried about.

That Miss P was wrong is a no brainer. Things in life are seldom as crystal clear as that.

So those of you who like to point fingers at ‘Neurodiversity’ and say it’s just about the “ND’s” not wanting you to help your kids? Give me a break.

How is it keeping you from helping your kids to make sure people like Miss P know in no uncertain terms that it is WRONG to discriminate against people who are of a different neurology? It can only help all of our kids to make sure people know:

It’s wrong to deny us education. It’s wrong to deny us a means to support ourselves if we’re able. It’s wrong to treat us like lesser beings if we’re disabled. It’s wrong to deny accomadations where they are required. It’s wrong to discriminate against us on the basis of a label someone hasn’t even taken the time to understand. It’s wrong to hurt us and exclude us and deny us a meaningful exsistance just because society allows people to be too pig headed to see our value as human beings.

All of us have value, no one should be allowed to deny us that.

Jesus wept.

Especially a vulnerable little 5 year old boy.