I’m still not sure that was what set the ‘worry’ cycle going with him, but I need to be aware of the possibility.

If scorpions didn’t sting they wouldn’t survive long. They’d die of starvation or be eaten up. They’re a tasty snack for many animals, why shouldn’t they defend themselves.

Anyway, I don’t think you’re a scorpion I have long admired the fact that you say what you think. This is far harder to do than making ‘nicey nicey’, the aftermath can be hard to deal with. But it is more productive in the end, and desperately needed, especially if the ’second future’ you’re writing about is the same I’m concerned with.

I hate the phrase “Well, at least we tried.” But far worse to not even have that comfort.

I remember times like that but I cannot say for me the thought ever stopped.

I had not much conception of what the future was.

I recall a radio programme where someone said “we are of the generation who will live to see both 1984 and 2001″ and now both those iconic dates are history.

The future is not anything any of us can know and the question is even if we plan for it, we cannot avoid it for what will happen is not in our hands.

I see two futures, but whatever I do to work towards the first, the second gloomier one beckons.

Bonnie, I think the problem was that when our son has complained about school work, we thought it would show a purpose for it by saying something like “Well, if you want to be a (insert his current career of choice…scientist, engineer, mechcanic…STREET SWEEPER [he desperately longed to run a streetsweeping vehicle at one point] ) then you need to study hard and learn lots of things first!”
It was one of those dumb ‘motivational’ things you say as a parent.

It didn’t occur to me that he would start to then worry that difficulty in school work now=no job later in such an immediate fashion. That was obviously short sighted of us. It wasn’t the intention to leave him feeling overwhelmed, but I see now that was what happened.

About the ‘jail’ thing, we recently got into a dinner table discussion while watching the news about why a person might end up in jail. To explain that it’s not that a person is innately bad, but that sometimes difficulties in life can create situations where that might happen. Lack of work and education were some of the reasons we listed.

Put those two things together and I guess you end up with one stressed out literal-minded 8 year old

It’s hard for both husband and I to know how much information to give him sometimes. He asks such totally cool questions that we end up thinking he can handle more information than he’s really ready for, I think. I guess this is a good time to reassess that.

Your suggestions are good. There are some stories of overcoming adversity in our “Different Like Me” book, too, it would be a good time to pull that off the shelf

Maybe a book of stories about people who overcame hardship and eventually had successful careers would help to reassure him. You could try explaining that even if a person can’t find a job at some point in life, that doesn’t necessarily mean the person did anything wrong; sometimes there just aren’t enough jobs available in a particular city or field of work. It’s not a reflection on the person’s intelligence or worth.

The Great Depression would be a good example of how people found ways to survive during hard times (unless you think that your son would worry too much about the possibility of something like that happening again).

How aware your little guys is. Already worrying about his future. Sounds like you reassured him well.

I keep hoping that sharing our experiences with him will help him work his way through things a bit easier, not feeling so alone…and help him understand that things change over time. Mum can read now…dad doesn’t tip over chairs in frustration like he did in grade school (son loved that story–strangely enough he had the same reaction to school. Hey, maybe THAT’S hereditary too?! lol!)