September 29th, 2006
Something From the Cupboard
This is my first real post on Autiblogger 
I think I’ll take the lazy girls way out and leave all my old stuff behind at Blogger rather than import it over…’cause…well…I’m lazy. Anyway, if you want the archives, they’re at http://shhmumisthinking.blogspot.com/
I’ve been a bit scarce lately from blogging. That’s partly due to the number of things I’ve been juggling. But ‘busy-ness’ isn’t the only reason. I’m having one of those overload periods I think, similar to when my son was going through his diagnosis. Back then I was staying up late every night reading books, papers, research, opinions”¦gorging myself on information till it felt like my head would burst and eventually none of it was making sense anymore.
Do you ever feel you’ve read so much stuff and have so many thoughts to sort through that your head is becoming the equivalent of the messiest cupboard in the house? Too much stuff in there, put in too quickly, shuffled through by searching fingers until nothing’s in the right place anymore. That’s how I feel lately.
One of the things I have bouncing around in my messy cupboard of a head has nothing to do with research papers and perhaps isn’t related directly to autism. It’s a story my husband repeated to me, something he heard last week from a workmate, and to me it seems very relevant.
Here it is:
Workmate, lets call him Fred, goes to a large science think-tank type place for a visit, for a reason not of any interest to this story. While there, he remembers there is a man working there who he very much admires. A scientist. A Great Man. Lets call him Barney
Fred says to his escort: “Oh, please, would it be ok if I meet Barney? I’ve always wanted to meet him, it would be such an honour.”
The escort says “Sure, he works over there” and points at an office.
Fred walks over. Looks in the door. The office is empty. He returns to his escort disappointed. “Darn, I must have missed him. He’s not there.” Escort stops in his tracks.”Oh, yeah, he’s there.” he says, and leads Fred back to the office of the great man. Escort walks into the empty room and knocks on top of the great man’s desk and Barney sticks his head out from underneath. They all greet each other. Fred was pretty happy to meet Barney Smiles all around.
Turns out Barney ALWAYS spent the first hour of his day under his desk. Sucking his thumb. He has to because it was the only way he could ready himself to deal with the world. He wasn’t particularly embarrassed about it and his workmates weren’t worried or upset by his *gasp!* ‘inappropriate behaviour’. That was just Barney. He was a great man, and great men can have their quirks. It was part of the package. If you want Barney, you take him quirks and all.
I don’t know if Barney is autistic, though I suppose it’s a distinct possibility. But, see, that’s not whats important about the story, at least to me. He could be bipolar or schizophrenic or even neurotypical. I dunno, I don’t care. The fact is he was able to contribute something to the world simply because his ‘quirks’ were tolerated and accepted by his fellow human beings.
This story has been bouncing off the walls of my head the last week, ever since my hubby shared it with me. I was so happy when I heard it, so happy to hear the evidence that it IS possible for people to accept the quirks of others. Even, perhaps, with affection!
But the more I thought about it the more frustrated I felt.
After all, why do you have to be a Great Man for your quirks to be tolerated? There are probably heaps of people out there that would be able to contribute to society and have a shot at supporting themselves or could simply live a happier, healthier life if only we were more willing to allow each other a few quirks. Personally I’d be a lot happier to see more quirky people around, they make me feel comfy. I’d be very happy to have a quirky cashier wait on me, or see a quirky doctor, or a quirky garbage man or have a quirky neighbor or…
It’s the social butterflies that make my heart sink, because I know they’re not going to think too highly of my own quirks.
September 29th, 2006 at 5:09 am
I bet my cupboard is a lot messier than yours mum!
And yeah… Why do you have to be a great man to have your quirks tolerated.
You are very perceptive, and also a deep thinker mum.
Celebrate individuality I say…
As a child I was perceived as being a little odd by some…
I have an autistic son who is the light of my life.
Sure it ain’t easy….. But I would’nt change him for the world….
Trouble is in the world today, many people want everything to be easy..
.Nothin’ worth havin’ comes easy..
September 29th, 2006 at 11:42 am
I know just what you mean about having a head like a messy cupboard. That’s a consequence of having an associational style of thinking; all sorts of interesting facts get crammed in there because they seem to be related to something else and might come in useful someday!
Mental hoarding, you might say, but it’s also a good source of creative inspiration.
Your memo-pad template for the new blog definitely fits that style; now I’ve got a mental image of you taking an idea from a kitchen cupboard and putting it on the memo pad.
As for quirky people, when I was a little kid, I had a teacher named Mrs. Quirk. I wondered if she got that name because she had a lot of quirks.
September 29th, 2006 at 11:54 am
Interesting analogy story. Not even sure if it is really analogy per se… fact is, with or without the diagnosis, that scenario could easily happen. If people let it. The thing that makes it valid as an idea is this: “The fact is he was able to contribute something to the world simply because his ‘quirks’ were tolerated and accepted by his fellow human beings.”
In other words… who cares how weird this guy is, he has something to put into this process of whatever it is that we do here, and his way of being is not that much of a hindrance compared to what he brings to the workplace.
Sad fact is that not all auties can bring that much to the workplace for it to be recognised as worthy without having the workplace staff trained to understand autism; otherwise, this person becomes yet another f*cking weirdo we had to put up with. I’m an autistic applied educational psychologist. Ask me what situation I’d like to see happen.
Lovely blog essay, given that mostly in blogging one has to deal with generalities (and generalities in autism are actually very few and far between…).
David N. Andrews MEd
Applied Educational Psychologist
Kotka, Finland
September 29th, 2006 at 9:42 pm
Hi Kathy… Like I said, the cupboard is overfull and messy; instead of being a “deep thinker” I’m probably closer to being a “theep dinker” (I hope you’re giggling, ’cause I am)
Bonnie, I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s into ‘associational thinking’. It does make me rather high maintenance, though, I need a lot of down time to sort through all the stuff I take in…I wonder if that’s common? Anyway, it would be fun to play Trivial Pursuit against each other, wouldn’t it?
Yeah, I really like the themes available here at Autiblogs. I like a bit of texture on a page, it seems more restful on the eye and more cosy somehow.
David, I’m really happy to see you here so I can tell you how much I love your video.The music is great and the graphics are really neat, kind of mesmorising. I like it very much!
Yeah, you got what I meant perfectly. I was a bit worried it wouldn’t translate well writing it down.
I think it’s great this guy was accepted by his workmates. But I started thinking…what if he’d been…a junior developer at an IT firm. Or a postal worker or something. Autism Diva’s latest blog entry at
http://autismdiva.blogspot.com/2006/09/unhiding-of-hidden-ho rde.html
comes to mind here, in the article that speaks of the older gentlemen who often weren’t able to maintain work because of their ‘quirks’.
Well, I can’t help it, I have to ask:
What situation would you like to see happen?
(not sure if that was a rhetorical question or not
)
September 30th, 2006 at 8:34 am
Hi Mum-
It would be great if we were all tolerated quirks and all, I agree completely. I have to wonder what the earlier part of Barney’s life and career were like, if he was always accepted as he was(is).
Your messy cupboard analogy perfectly describes my own messy brain, as well as my cupboards! You know how most people have a “junk drawer?” ALL my drawers are junk drawers, but I know what is in them, and am able to retrieve a stapler, a crescent wrench, or thumbtacks at a moment’s notice. It doesn’t matter how long it’s been since I’ve used them, I know where they are. That’s how my brain works, too.
Great post, and I like the new layout. Soothing indeed.
September 30th, 2006 at 5:57 pm
Hi SM…I wish I knew more about Barney, it would be interesting to know if he had to struggle early on. I imagine so.
Hey. My real cupboards are like that too
Tho they’re very messy, I can usually find whatever I want. I just pity anyone else who has to look through them!